taking heart

I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

This week I came across this verse right when both Bobby and I needed it. We both understand the adoption process is long and filled with many ups and downs. We were not really prepared for the down we received last week. Since October, we have been told to finish the adoption classes, and then they will have a time frame for when the home study will begin. Bobby and I have been waiting since December to find out. We had been planning and hoping it would start in the next few months. Well, we are totally wrong. Currently our agency is at capacity for families already licensed and waiting for children. Until several families are placed they are not beginning any home studies. At this point they can not even estimate when this will happen. We know the process hasn't been going fast but we were not ready for it to completely stop (at least that is what it feels like).

So we're trying to find some positives and come to peace with this.
1. They are working with several birth moms. The more birth moms are working with will potentially mean more families can be placed and then it will be our turn. Not every birth mom chooses to give their child up for adoption, some decide to parent in the end.

2. Bobby and I have been praying about the financial side of adoption. This is the one part that excites terrifies us. Next summer, we will finish paying off all of our debt except for the house and student loans. The financial fear of adopting and having a child will be significantly less after that. I guess God really was listening to our prayers about timing.

3. We have also decided  to begin the process of adopting an infant through DCF this summer. Adopting an infant through DCF is a very long process, but if we're currently waiting, we might as well have two possibilities going. What is the saying-don't put all your eggs in one basket?

The only other big update we have is that I found a great dresser/changing combo at the Celebration, FL Yard and Porch Sale the beginning of the month. It definitely needed some changes though.

BEFORE

AFTER

Yes, I completely redid it with the help and encouragement of a good friend. I even made the yellow changing pad cover to go with everything in the nursery. I am so proud of how it came out!

Needless to say, Bobby and I probably won't have many more updates until there is some progress, which could be quite a while. We have decided to hold off on any more baby preparations. Two weekends ago, we were debating on whether or not to purchase a stroller. I am so happy God was talking to Bobby that night and told him what we should do instead of the stroller. He really is with us through this journey! This morning our adoption agency had this image on their Facebook page. He continues to find ways to talk to Bobby and I through every step and reaffirm what we believe.

Today, we took this picture. The words in the sign, couldn't be anymore true. We will be parents. We just have no clue when at this time.

Again, I just ask that you pray for us as we continue this journey and for birth moms who are currently battling the emotions that come with the decision to parent versus giving their child up for adoption. There is no way I will ever understand what that feels like, but I do know that it takes a strong person to make that decision. 

Making Progress

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.   Romans 12:12

I know many people are wondering what has been happening with the adoption since say . . . October. It's been quite a while - oops! The fall seemed to get away from us. Bobby and I had every intention of beginning and finishing our adoption classes before Thanksgiving. There's no easy way to say it, but God had other plans for us this fall with the passing of my grandfather and the disappearance and death of a dear friend of ours from back home. While we were able to enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving with my whole family and see Bobby's family in November too, we were extremely thankful for December to begin. Our plans may have been derailed, but here's a run down of what we have accomplished.

• In early November we managed to paint all of the bedrooms upstairs and begin the preparations of turning the den into a nursery. 
• We finished all 3 of our adoption classes about a week before Christmas.
• Our adoption profile book is started. We have a few pages done, but have lots more to do. We have found it slightly overwhelming to introduce yourself through a limited number of photos and words in hopes that someone will choose you as their child's parents. 
• And . . . we bought a crib, mattress, and bedding last month!

Earlier this summer, I came across very similar bedding that I fell in love with but was way out of our price range. I have been searching for something gray, white, with hints of yellow accents. I wanted a chevron pattern as well. I was to the point where I was going to make the bedding so I could have exactly what I wanted. Low and behold, I happened to be shopping for a friend's shower and saw exactly what I wanted, at a price I could afford! Hot-diggity-dog! Then this week an amazing friend made the gray and yellow matching quilt and throw pillow for the nursery (I know the pillow will not stay in the crib. Most likely it will live in the rocking chair up there). She did an amazing job!

We are still waiting to begin our home study. We are unsure of when that will take place, which means we have no clue how long our journey to parenthood will be. Bobby and I often discuss when we hope everything will fall into place, but really we have to trust God. His timing is perfect! It always has been and always will be. I continually remind myself of this as our ideal time most likely will not be His ideal time.

Right now our emotions are very mixed. We are excited, scared, nervous, hopeful . . . did I say scared? It has always been a dream, and now our dream is beginning to become a reality.  Farny is even excited and learning where his spot is in the nursery. Man I love that dog!

Again, we ask you to continue to pray as God leads not only us in this journey but the life of the birth mother as well. She will need His guidance as she begins to plan for her pregnancy, birth, and the life of her child. 

We are moving on . . .

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." 1 Chronicles 28:20

We got our email today about the next steps to take! SCARY!! Bobby called me on his way home and mentioned that we got an email, I told him that I saw it, and we both made a comment about how scary exciting it is to take this step (truthfully each step). This step is the step we have been waiting on since May once we knew the FBCH had accepted our application. For the last five months we've been able to sort of live in this fantasy world where we knew there would be a baby someday. Because of how slow things were moving, it didn't seem like it would be anytime soon. Our fantasy world sort of deflated a bit more to the reality of wow this is really happening.

So, the next step is to begin the online version of the MAPP classes next month. Apparently, it's 3 different courses totaling about 6 hours in work. We don't know how long it will actually take for us to complete this step either. It may take one weekend or one month. Once we have the courses completed, we send in our certificate and they will be more able to give us a specific time line. HOLY COW!!! A POTENTIAL TIMELINE-DATE!!! Our fantasy world just became a little more real. So the verse at the beginning is to remind us that as terrified scared worried shocked happy as we are to be taking the next steps, this is still God's work and plan for us. He will not fail us even if we are fearful.

Now, you are probably wondering "What have those Fernbaughs been doing the last five months?" Well, we had to halt a bit on the nursery. I ended up transferring schools this year. So years of teaching resources were moved back to the house, and there just happened to be one completely empty room. How convenient? Now that all of my stuff has either been moved to my new school (I'm teach kindergarten), stored away, sold, or thrown out, we have actually begun painting and cleaning up the bedrooms upstairs. Hopefully by January/February we will have the nursery painted and possibly a crib in place.

Thank you to everyone that has continued to pray for us this year.

The Latest . . .

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I know it's been a while, but we haven't had anything new to share. Today, we really don't have much to share, but I thought it was about time to update everyone.

First, the process is slow. We were under the impression that we might be able to start the MAPP classes this summer, but that doesn't look so right now. The estimate is that once you start MAPP classes the average wait time until placement is the length of a pregnancy (give or take a few months). With those first thoughts, that had us thinking placement would be anytime from next May-July. Right now, we don't plan on this happening. Bobby and I have a feeling it will closer to fall of 2013, and we're are completely content with that. Truthfully, we'd be content if it were spring to 2014. Only God knows when our perfect time will be!

Here are some of the things I do know. Currently, there are seven families licensed and waiting for placement. For some reason we had this notion that it was like twenty to thirty families - seven is nothing! There are also families working on their license right now and farther along in the process. So at most, there maybe fifteen families "ahead of us".

The other concerning factor is there have not been any birth moms until recently. Last week apparently, a birth mom came in, went through all the documentation, gave birth, and placement happened all within a week! WOWZERS!! That's fast! My one request is to please say a prayer for any birth mom right now who is struggling with determining what the best decision is for her and her child. It has to be the most difficult decision to make in the world. I am thankful there are strong selfless mothers out there who do choose adoption.

The next MAPP class will start in the fall. Most likely we would be invited to that one. Currently, the FCBH is working on creating an online MAPP course for adoptive families. We're not sure the route that we will be taking these courses, but it will happen.

Other than that, there has been absolutely no headway on the nursery. None! This fall it will be painted, and a crib will be bought. From there we don't know what else to do. We are working on creating a baby registry as well, so our friends and family can help prepare for our little bundle of joy. If she comes as quickly as the baby last week, or a few of other friends we know, we need to be prepared way ahead of time!

That's it for now! Blessings from Florida!!!

Advisers . . .

Plans fail for lack on counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

Previous to Thursday, Bobby and I talked a bit about making the den a nursery, what we wanted to do, and worked really hard on cleaning it out. Through everything we I have decided that we need to figure out what bedding to purchase before we paint or decide between a white or dark brown crib (that's another debate). This leads to me to today's post.

Sprout Crib Bedding Collection

This is the bedding I absolutely love! However, with a hefty price tag this is not going to happen unless someone wants to purchase this for us . . . anyone . . . anyone . . . Bueller . . .

So the search has continued. It is slightly difficult because whatever bedding we chose needs to work with a boy or a girl, and I am dead set against having any form of animals in my child's bedding - no owls (everyone gasp now), zoos, elephants, arks, Winnie the Poohs, or Mice. So that cuts about 75% of everything out. This had led us to the following three cheap budget friendly affordable options.

1. Sumersault Pop Dot Baby Bedding

2.   Sumersault Geo Brights 10 Piece Crib Set - Multicolor

3. Okie Dokie® Animal Circles Bedding - and yes this one does have animals, but I don't think they are really obvious, and I like that the sheet, skirt, and bumper (which I know won't stay in) are all a different material.

So . . . which one do you like? Is there something that we might not be considering that will annoy us or is missing that we need to consider? Should we start the search all over? Are these options just hideous, and we need to go with the Sprout Collection? Honestly, which one do you like the most? 

An Answer

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3 I had this nice long blog update typed this morning. I saved it so I could show Bobby before publishing it, and wouldn't you know it . . . it's gone. Missing. Disapprearred. MIA. This morning I was much more philosophical, so now I can guarantee that what I type will not be any better than what I originally had but here it goes. On Thursday Bobby and I recieved a letter from the FCBH informing us that they had accepted our application! Everything we had been waiting for and starting to prepare for over the last two months was answered. We don't have any additional information. Bobby and I have held on to this for the last few days. We wanted to tell a few people before we announced it to the world. Our neighbor, who is currently adopting her second daughter through them informed us earlier in the week that the next MAPP class should begin in August. That is the next major hurdle that we have to do through the agency. From there, the average wait is that of a pregnancy. All of this is subject to change, but if it goes the way our neighbor Martye explained we could have a baby in our arms the beginning of summer next year! Slightly frightening! Do they know we have no clue about little ones? Does everyone realize we will be asking you a bazillion questions? We ask that you continue to pray for our child, his or her birthmother, and a healthy pregnancy. So many things could happen in the beginning and hopefully the birthmother will be aware and take care of herself and the baby. God continues to show us how great He is! Many blessings to everyone!!!

House Preparations

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

We know it has been forever since our last update. There hasn't been much news to share. Three weeks ago the adoption coordinator emailed us with some financial questions. We answered them. The next week she came back and wanted to know about our relationship with God and how we came to our relationship. And finally, our check for the application fee was deposited this week. Other than that, we know nothing.

In the last few weeks we have spent many hours sorting, rearranging, selling a few items on Craigslist, piling up a bunch of things to sell at next week's community yard sale, and trying not to stress about the random piles around the house. It started with moving the computer and office stuff to the dinning room. We had many grand ideas. Ultimately, it ended up being something very simple but perfect for the space.

 

The next big task we took on was the living room. Again, we had many grand plans, but thanks to some Pinterest inspired ideas we built a faux built-in bookcase. We have spent that last two days working on it. This evening, everything has been placed on the shelves. In the near future I may be hosting an intervention for Bobby and his movie collection. He just has too many!!!

I wish I had some before photos to share, but couldn't find any to show just how dramatic these changes our.

All of this means that after the yard sale next weekend, the office upstairs will be completely empty (well except for us demolishing the desk - anyone want to come help?) and ready to be painted and turned into a nursery.