Answering Prayers

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

I know it's been several months since we last posted, but we have been waiting for somethings to happen and a few things to fall into place the last two months are so. Here's a quick run down of the steps we have made.
1. We finished all of the paperwork and turned it in to the FBCH in February.
2. The end of March (actually our anniversary when we were dealing with Bobby's shoulder stuff), the social worker called to schedule our first home study.
3. We have complete the home study and are waiting for the written report to be submitted.
4. We finished our adoption profile movie. This is what birthmothers will view when selecting an adoptive family. It's pretty cool!!!
5. We have 95% of our letter to the birthmother written as well. It's one of those documents, that no matter how many times you read it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it some more, it will always feel like something could be said better. Until we actually turn it in, I don't think we will ever feel that it is finished.
6. We bought a stroller/car seat travel system (SCARY!!!!)

Now . . . we wait some more. There are a few more things we need to complete, but things have moved more quickly the last two months than they have the 24 months before then.

Most importantly, we continue to see God's hand in every step.  In February I was faced with this devotional.
Have you ever doubted My heart for you? Is that why you find it hard to ask for My help when you are in such great need? Have faith in your heavenly Father. Know that My promises to you are true.

If you ask of Me, you will receive. Not on your terms, but on Mine. If you seek Me you will find Me; I will come to you. If you know, I will open the door for you. I have spoken; I have promised; I have invited you to come to Me. Now I am awaiting your response.

I long to spend time alone with you, My beloved. Sometimes it is hard for you to be transparent with Me when others are around. So get away somewhere private, in your room or in a quiet garden. And when you come to Me in secret, I will demonstrate My goodness to you before many. They will know of My love for you. 

If you wonder whether I desire to bless you, think about this: Even evil people know how to give good gifts to their children. So just imagine how much more I not only want to do, but also can do for you, if you will just ask Me. For I am your heavenly Father, the Lord who delights in those who put their hope in My unfailing love. 

I still read this and can feel God speaking directly to me. It's a heavy message, but one of hope, faith, love, trust, and encouragement. It was one of those "Okay, I heard you God" moments.

Well, last year, Bobby and I prayed that God would slow down the adoption process and that if He could just hold out until the summer of 2014, financially adopting a child would be significantly easier. We all know, that I really struggled, when everything stopped last spring, but now I can look back and see God's hand in everything. We made it to summer of 2014! Now, that we got here, our next big question was where will the large chunk of the adoption cost come from. He came with an answer before we were even ready to pray about it. Just before spring break, I learned that the school district is setting up new summer school programs. One of the K-5 programs will be hosted at my school 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Teachers will be paid at their normal daily rate, and not the cheap hourly rate the district likes to pay for professional development, tutoring, planning, and other qualifying activities. I haven't wanted to share a lot about this incase it didn't work out, but today I learned that I will be teaching this program. By working this summer, Bobby and I can save 75% of our adoption cost that remains.  I can not explain how amazing it is to realize that God had answered our prayer and then provided a clear answer to our next prayer. It overwhelms me sometimes how incredible everything has fallen into place.

At the end of the day, we are truly blessed. God listened to our prayers (even if He didn't work in the way we thought it should go) and was ready with the answer to the next question before we were ready to ask it. He is ah-mazing!!!

Once again, we continue to ask for your prayers that God's presence will continue to be felt and made known through this journey. Prayer for the birthmothers who is having to make an extremely difficult decision for her son or daughter.

Emotions

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! 1 Chronicles 16:11

For about the past six weeks I've had a blog idea in my head that I have wanted to write, but I haven't been sure how to write it or even if I should. I've started to write it in my head, and then I quit afraid others won't understand. Our blog is titled Journey to Parenthood, and what I want to share is a part of our journey. So here I sit hoping praying that the nice right best most honest words come out to express what has been on our mind.

Essentially our adoption journey in 2013 was an emotional one. We had completed everything the FBCH had required us to do just before Christmas of 2012 and were waiting for them to green light the home study process. In 2013 we were told that everything was on a hold and they had no clue when we would begin. They couldn't even guestimate if we would start by end of of 2013. Emotionally that is difficult hard gut wrenching to process when you're setting up a nursery, looking at strollers to buy, and every other scary thing that comes with a newborn. The best description for our emotions last spring were as close to a miscarriage as we could experience. To be planning and preparing and then left with nothing and really no hope of anything happening in 2013 was hard. Essentially, we decided we needed to live life and not plan anything for the adoption for the remainder of 2013.

So, we traveled a lot and spent a lot of time playing at Disney World. Every time we thought about or went to the SPCA and looked for another cat or dog, the FBCH would email us with a message that said we might be able to start in 2-4 weeks. It happened once in June and again in August. Each time we'd think something might be happening, and then we'd go months without another word. Again, here's another emotional roller coaster. I want to make this clear, Bobby and I know, understand, and accept that adoption is not easy, but most times it's because you are waiting for a child and birthparents, and not your own adoption agency not capable to handling to workload they have accepted.

Now this leads me to what has been on my mind lately. While Bobby and I have been going through this there are two things that we continued to and still struggle with today.

1. I fully understand that children are God's blessing, but when people say things about their children begin God's greatest gift, as a woman and a man who desperately want that experience it is very hard to not take it personally. Does God deem that Bobby and I are not worthy of His greatest gift? For those of you who really know me, know that I have fully accepted the benefits of not being pregnant and putting my body through that torture glorious experience. I have enough medical issues that I am thankful God knows what He is doing. I also know His plan is better than ours and I trust it, but it's still something that hurts. How do I say this honestly - be sensitive with your words. You're family can be your greatest gift, but please don't put so much emphasis on the greatest gift being pregnancy or your child around someone who can't or won't experience it.

2. Every so often we are taken aback by a friend (mostly high school Facebook friends who we don't keep in good contact with) announce they are pregnant  . . . again. Let me make this clear, we are very excited for our friends who are pregnant, this is about our emotions!!!! Bobby and I can't help but think that they're working on their second or third child and here we are just praying for one. Really people all we pray for is A child. Which leads to the slightly irrational idea that maybe we are getting too old for a child. If most of our friends are finished having their multiple children and we are still praying for number one, wouldn't it be easier to get another dog, cat, and an Audi (I can dream)? Last month one of my best friends gave me the best advice as we were talking about this. If having a child is in your heart, you are never too old. It is in our heart, so we continue.

Well that leads us to December 18, 2013. We received an email with actual home study adoption paperwork to fill out (45 pages of it). Yes! It took one full year of us sending in our last document for them to start the next step. Then this week we received another packet of paperwork to complete, sign, send away, sell a kidney for, notarize, and who knows what else. While this is overwhelming, we can't help but think how ironic the number of people who carelessly have a child because they have the capabilities of this and not necessarily the heart for having a child. I am not going to lie-it is frustrating. Again, getting another dog, cat, and an Audi seems way more easier than the now 100 pages we have to complete (along with a snazzy scrapbook for the FBCH to show off to prospective birthparents).

So that's where our journey has taken us in 2013. It's not pretty, but it's a part of our story. Hopefully you have a better understanding as to what has and has not been happening and will continue to pray for God's hand to continue His work in this adoption process.

The Wait Continues

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

This verse seems to fit perfectly where we are right now in the adoption process. Unfortunately there really isn't any news to share. Several times over the summer we thought we were going start our home study, but nothing came to fruition. As we continue on with this process, we are reminded that even when we feel like something isn't going right, it is going right in God's plan. He knows exactly how this is supposed to go and who our son or daughter is. His timing is perfect, and I have to trust it. I can't make the process go any fast, so I might as well just accept that God has His reasons. The last word we had in August, was that we were next on the list to start our home study. There may be hope that we are licensed for adoption by the end of the year. When that happens, we'll let you know.

We also wanted to share with you one way that you can help us out. Watch our vlog (video blog) below and check it out.

HERE IS THE LINK (I didn't want you to miss it). 

We've also placed an icon on the right side of the blog too. 

Thank you so much for all of your love, prayers, and support through this process. It has been extremely long, but God must have one great plan for our family. We can't wait to share it with everyone!

taking heart

I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

This week I came across this verse right when both Bobby and I needed it. We both understand the adoption process is long and filled with many ups and downs. We were not really prepared for the down we received last week. Since October, we have been told to finish the adoption classes, and then they will have a time frame for when the home study will begin. Bobby and I have been waiting since December to find out. We had been planning and hoping it would start in the next few months. Well, we are totally wrong. Currently our agency is at capacity for families already licensed and waiting for children. Until several families are placed they are not beginning any home studies. At this point they can not even estimate when this will happen. We know the process hasn't been going fast but we were not ready for it to completely stop (at least that is what it feels like).

So we're trying to find some positives and come to peace with this.
1. They are working with several birth moms. The more birth moms are working with will potentially mean more families can be placed and then it will be our turn. Not every birth mom chooses to give their child up for adoption, some decide to parent in the end.

2. Bobby and I have been praying about the financial side of adoption. This is the one part that excites terrifies us. Next summer, we will finish paying off all of our debt except for the house and student loans. The financial fear of adopting and having a child will be significantly less after that. I guess God really was listening to our prayers about timing.

3. We have also decided  to begin the process of adopting an infant through DCF this summer. Adopting an infant through DCF is a very long process, but if we're currently waiting, we might as well have two possibilities going. What is the saying-don't put all your eggs in one basket?

The only other big update we have is that I found a great dresser/changing combo at the Celebration, FL Yard and Porch Sale the beginning of the month. It definitely needed some changes though.

BEFORE

AFTER

Yes, I completely redid it with the help and encouragement of a good friend. I even made the yellow changing pad cover to go with everything in the nursery. I am so proud of how it came out!

Needless to say, Bobby and I probably won't have many more updates until there is some progress, which could be quite a while. We have decided to hold off on any more baby preparations. Two weekends ago, we were debating on whether or not to purchase a stroller. I am so happy God was talking to Bobby that night and told him what we should do instead of the stroller. He really is with us through this journey! This morning our adoption agency had this image on their Facebook page. He continues to find ways to talk to Bobby and I through every step and reaffirm what we believe.

Today, we took this picture. The words in the sign, couldn't be anymore true. We will be parents. We just have no clue when at this time.

Again, I just ask that you pray for us as we continue this journey and for birth moms who are currently battling the emotions that come with the decision to parent versus giving their child up for adoption. There is no way I will ever understand what that feels like, but I do know that it takes a strong person to make that decision. 

Making Progress

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.   Romans 12:12

I know many people are wondering what has been happening with the adoption since say . . . October. It's been quite a while - oops! The fall seemed to get away from us. Bobby and I had every intention of beginning and finishing our adoption classes before Thanksgiving. There's no easy way to say it, but God had other plans for us this fall with the passing of my grandfather and the disappearance and death of a dear friend of ours from back home. While we were able to enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving with my whole family and see Bobby's family in November too, we were extremely thankful for December to begin. Our plans may have been derailed, but here's a run down of what we have accomplished.

• In early November we managed to paint all of the bedrooms upstairs and begin the preparations of turning the den into a nursery. 
• We finished all 3 of our adoption classes about a week before Christmas.
• Our adoption profile book is started. We have a few pages done, but have lots more to do. We have found it slightly overwhelming to introduce yourself through a limited number of photos and words in hopes that someone will choose you as their child's parents. 
• And . . . we bought a crib, mattress, and bedding last month!

Earlier this summer, I came across very similar bedding that I fell in love with but was way out of our price range. I have been searching for something gray, white, with hints of yellow accents. I wanted a chevron pattern as well. I was to the point where I was going to make the bedding so I could have exactly what I wanted. Low and behold, I happened to be shopping for a friend's shower and saw exactly what I wanted, at a price I could afford! Hot-diggity-dog! Then this week an amazing friend made the gray and yellow matching quilt and throw pillow for the nursery (I know the pillow will not stay in the crib. Most likely it will live in the rocking chair up there). She did an amazing job!

We are still waiting to begin our home study. We are unsure of when that will take place, which means we have no clue how long our journey to parenthood will be. Bobby and I often discuss when we hope everything will fall into place, but really we have to trust God. His timing is perfect! It always has been and always will be. I continually remind myself of this as our ideal time most likely will not be His ideal time.

Right now our emotions are very mixed. We are excited, scared, nervous, hopeful . . . did I say scared? It has always been a dream, and now our dream is beginning to become a reality.  Farny is even excited and learning where his spot is in the nursery. Man I love that dog!

Again, we ask you to continue to pray as God leads not only us in this journey but the life of the birth mother as well. She will need His guidance as she begins to plan for her pregnancy, birth, and the life of her child. 

We are moving on . . .

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." 1 Chronicles 28:20

We got our email today about the next steps to take! SCARY!! Bobby called me on his way home and mentioned that we got an email, I told him that I saw it, and we both made a comment about how scary exciting it is to take this step (truthfully each step). This step is the step we have been waiting on since May once we knew the FBCH had accepted our application. For the last five months we've been able to sort of live in this fantasy world where we knew there would be a baby someday. Because of how slow things were moving, it didn't seem like it would be anytime soon. Our fantasy world sort of deflated a bit more to the reality of wow this is really happening.

So, the next step is to begin the online version of the MAPP classes next month. Apparently, it's 3 different courses totaling about 6 hours in work. We don't know how long it will actually take for us to complete this step either. It may take one weekend or one month. Once we have the courses completed, we send in our certificate and they will be more able to give us a specific time line. HOLY COW!!! A POTENTIAL TIMELINE-DATE!!! Our fantasy world just became a little more real. So the verse at the beginning is to remind us that as terrified scared worried shocked happy as we are to be taking the next steps, this is still God's work and plan for us. He will not fail us even if we are fearful.

Now, you are probably wondering "What have those Fernbaughs been doing the last five months?" Well, we had to halt a bit on the nursery. I ended up transferring schools this year. So years of teaching resources were moved back to the house, and there just happened to be one completely empty room. How convenient? Now that all of my stuff has either been moved to my new school (I'm teach kindergarten), stored away, sold, or thrown out, we have actually begun painting and cleaning up the bedrooms upstairs. Hopefully by January/February we will have the nursery painted and possibly a crib in place.

Thank you to everyone that has continued to pray for us this year.

The Latest . . .

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I know it's been a while, but we haven't had anything new to share. Today, we really don't have much to share, but I thought it was about time to update everyone.

First, the process is slow. We were under the impression that we might be able to start the MAPP classes this summer, but that doesn't look so right now. The estimate is that once you start MAPP classes the average wait time until placement is the length of a pregnancy (give or take a few months). With those first thoughts, that had us thinking placement would be anytime from next May-July. Right now, we don't plan on this happening. Bobby and I have a feeling it will closer to fall of 2013, and we're are completely content with that. Truthfully, we'd be content if it were spring to 2014. Only God knows when our perfect time will be!

Here are some of the things I do know. Currently, there are seven families licensed and waiting for placement. For some reason we had this notion that it was like twenty to thirty families - seven is nothing! There are also families working on their license right now and farther along in the process. So at most, there maybe fifteen families "ahead of us".

The other concerning factor is there have not been any birth moms until recently. Last week apparently, a birth mom came in, went through all the documentation, gave birth, and placement happened all within a week! WOWZERS!! That's fast! My one request is to please say a prayer for any birth mom right now who is struggling with determining what the best decision is for her and her child. It has to be the most difficult decision to make in the world. I am thankful there are strong selfless mothers out there who do choose adoption.

The next MAPP class will start in the fall. Most likely we would be invited to that one. Currently, the FCBH is working on creating an online MAPP course for adoptive families. We're not sure the route that we will be taking these courses, but it will happen.

Other than that, there has been absolutely no headway on the nursery. None! This fall it will be painted, and a crib will be bought. From there we don't know what else to do. We are working on creating a baby registry as well, so our friends and family can help prepare for our little bundle of joy. If she comes as quickly as the baby last week, or a few of other friends we know, we need to be prepared way ahead of time!

That's it for now! Blessings from Florida!!!