The Past Month

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith - Mathew 21:22

What can I say? The past month has been an amazing blur! Edison is an amazing baby who sleeps well, eats well, plays well, rides in the car well. We feel like we won the baby lottery. Actually we feel like God knew exactly who we were supposed to have to break us into this parenthood thing. Here are some highlights:

• blessed beyond belief from our family far away and with two work baby showers, a shower from the church choir, and our church family/friends
• an Orlando shopping trip with one of my best friends
• lots of laundry
• lunch with daddy
• Edison's first Disney trip because mom and dad had to go to Food and Wine at Epcot
• lots of diapers
• slept through the night once
• met Gramma and Grandpa Austin in September
• lots of formula and bottles
• circumcision
• trips to Babies R Us and Target
• lots of naps
• met Grandma Fernbaugh today
• one Halloween costume made 

While I am happy to go back to work, I wish I could take E with me. Thankfully Bobby will be off until mid November.

God is GREAT!!!

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. Samuel 1:27

On Friday August 29th I was leaving work slightly excited because we were going car shopping to replace the Mazda (that's a different story) and just ready for the holiday weekend when  . . . we got THE call. A birth mother had chosen us to adopt her son! We learned he was to be born on Wednesday September 10th. Yes a week and a half later!! If you can imagine, we were filled with every kind of emotion and fear that first time parents have nine months to go through . . . only we had 12 days. Plus nothing is ever guaranteed in the world of adoption. So, if it seems like we slightly dropped off the face of the planet  . . . we slightly did. We also apologize that we didn't share what was happening sooner. With as fast as everything moved, we felt the need to keep control of this information and only let family and our closest friends know what was happening. There is no doubt that God provide all of the items we still needed in order to bring him home and the strength to get sub plans ready for several weeks and leave times figured out all within a finite amount of time. His presence continued to be felt throughout the last two weeks.

We are happy to introduce Edison Samuel! 

September 10th

9:32 AM

6 lbs 15 oz

19 inches

HEALTHY!!

We had the privilege of being able to spend time with Edison at the hospital. On Friday, there were multiple documents signed, Edison was discharged, and we were able to bring him home. Farnsworth LOVES Edison! The running joke is Edison is Farny's baby because of how protective and concerned he is with every sound Edison makes. Miley is still on the fence. She did have a nice moment with Bobby and I this afternoon when we were holding Edison. I think she'll grow to like him but is just scared of how excited Farny is.

While there are several more steps before everything is finalized, we are completely honored that our birth mother chose us. There were many other families she could have selected, but she picked us. We had the privilege to meet her before Edison was born and continue to build a relationship with her at the hospital. I consider it an honor to help build that relationship we establish with Edison so he realizes and understands what a selfless act his birth mother made for him and in the end how content she was with her decision in us.

This is God's plan!

PRAYERS

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus - Phillippians 4:6-7

This afternoon we signed our last page of our home study and are licensed!!! YAY!! While there I was asking our adoption coordinator how many families are currently licensed and how many birth mothers are they working with. Her answer completely surprised us!! She has already shown our book to two potential birth families. While one is leaning towards another family, she is waiting to her back from the second birth mother. I then decided to ask when she is due . . . the answer - September!!! What!!!! That's in 30 days from now!!! So here's what we have been discussing and know (it's not much).

1. This birth mother still has the opportunity to not select us. We have no clue when in September she is due and if it's a boy or a girl. We know nothing except that the adoption coordinator is waiting to hear from her.

2. We have no clue what is to come. This is truly scary and REAL! At some point, they're going to let us bring home a little baby and it will stay with us forever! AGH!

3. And when there is so many things you want to do and need to do, but because you don't have any answers and your mind is racing what do you do? You go to Target, walk through the baby stuff, realize how ill prepared you are, and discuss all of the things you need to do, want to do, but can't do anything yet because you don't know how real this might be and if you're getting ready for a boy or a girl. Then you buy a mobile.

Most importantly we were confirmed that everything is in God's will. It is His plan. We continue to feel his presence at every turn. Right now, our child is somewhere out there. As we plan for the future, someone is out there thinking about us a potential parents for her child. What an overwhelming thought. Someone is pregnant right this minute with the child God has planned for our family. How do you even begin to comprehend that? 

Once again, we ask for your continued prayers. There are many things out of our control, and we have very little information. Please pray for us to continue to find peace as we have no clue what the next few months will hold. Nothing may happen or our entire world is about to be rocked. The amount of changes that may occur are overwhelming, but we have no doubt that this is God's plan. Please pray for our child's birth mother. I can not imagine all of the emotions she is going through at this point. I pray she has taken some prenatal care and is finding comfort in her choices. At this point we just need your prayers . . . lots and lots of prayers. 

Answering Prayers

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

I know it's been several months since we last posted, but we have been waiting for somethings to happen and a few things to fall into place the last two months are so. Here's a quick run down of the steps we have made.
1. We finished all of the paperwork and turned it in to the FBCH in February.
2. The end of March (actually our anniversary when we were dealing with Bobby's shoulder stuff), the social worker called to schedule our first home study.
3. We have complete the home study and are waiting for the written report to be submitted.
4. We finished our adoption profile movie. This is what birthmothers will view when selecting an adoptive family. It's pretty cool!!!
5. We have 95% of our letter to the birthmother written as well. It's one of those documents, that no matter how many times you read it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it some more, it will always feel like something could be said better. Until we actually turn it in, I don't think we will ever feel that it is finished.
6. We bought a stroller/car seat travel system (SCARY!!!!)

Now . . . we wait some more. There are a few more things we need to complete, but things have moved more quickly the last two months than they have the 24 months before then.

Most importantly, we continue to see God's hand in every step.  In February I was faced with this devotional.
Have you ever doubted My heart for you? Is that why you find it hard to ask for My help when you are in such great need? Have faith in your heavenly Father. Know that My promises to you are true.

If you ask of Me, you will receive. Not on your terms, but on Mine. If you seek Me you will find Me; I will come to you. If you know, I will open the door for you. I have spoken; I have promised; I have invited you to come to Me. Now I am awaiting your response.

I long to spend time alone with you, My beloved. Sometimes it is hard for you to be transparent with Me when others are around. So get away somewhere private, in your room or in a quiet garden. And when you come to Me in secret, I will demonstrate My goodness to you before many. They will know of My love for you. 

If you wonder whether I desire to bless you, think about this: Even evil people know how to give good gifts to their children. So just imagine how much more I not only want to do, but also can do for you, if you will just ask Me. For I am your heavenly Father, the Lord who delights in those who put their hope in My unfailing love. 

I still read this and can feel God speaking directly to me. It's a heavy message, but one of hope, faith, love, trust, and encouragement. It was one of those "Okay, I heard you God" moments.

Well, last year, Bobby and I prayed that God would slow down the adoption process and that if He could just hold out until the summer of 2014, financially adopting a child would be significantly easier. We all know, that I really struggled, when everything stopped last spring, but now I can look back and see God's hand in everything. We made it to summer of 2014! Now, that we got here, our next big question was where will the large chunk of the adoption cost come from. He came with an answer before we were even ready to pray about it. Just before spring break, I learned that the school district is setting up new summer school programs. One of the K-5 programs will be hosted at my school 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Teachers will be paid at their normal daily rate, and not the cheap hourly rate the district likes to pay for professional development, tutoring, planning, and other qualifying activities. I haven't wanted to share a lot about this incase it didn't work out, but today I learned that I will be teaching this program. By working this summer, Bobby and I can save 75% of our adoption cost that remains.  I can not explain how amazing it is to realize that God had answered our prayer and then provided a clear answer to our next prayer. It overwhelms me sometimes how incredible everything has fallen into place.

At the end of the day, we are truly blessed. God listened to our prayers (even if He didn't work in the way we thought it should go) and was ready with the answer to the next question before we were ready to ask it. He is ah-mazing!!!

Once again, we continue to ask for your prayers that God's presence will continue to be felt and made known through this journey. Prayer for the birthmothers who is having to make an extremely difficult decision for her son or daughter.

Emotions

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! 1 Chronicles 16:11

For about the past six weeks I've had a blog idea in my head that I have wanted to write, but I haven't been sure how to write it or even if I should. I've started to write it in my head, and then I quit afraid others won't understand. Our blog is titled Journey to Parenthood, and what I want to share is a part of our journey. So here I sit hoping praying that the nice right best most honest words come out to express what has been on our mind.

Essentially our adoption journey in 2013 was an emotional one. We had completed everything the FBCH had required us to do just before Christmas of 2012 and were waiting for them to green light the home study process. In 2013 we were told that everything was on a hold and they had no clue when we would begin. They couldn't even guestimate if we would start by end of of 2013. Emotionally that is difficult hard gut wrenching to process when you're setting up a nursery, looking at strollers to buy, and every other scary thing that comes with a newborn. The best description for our emotions last spring were as close to a miscarriage as we could experience. To be planning and preparing and then left with nothing and really no hope of anything happening in 2013 was hard. Essentially, we decided we needed to live life and not plan anything for the adoption for the remainder of 2013.

So, we traveled a lot and spent a lot of time playing at Disney World. Every time we thought about or went to the SPCA and looked for another cat or dog, the FBCH would email us with a message that said we might be able to start in 2-4 weeks. It happened once in June and again in August. Each time we'd think something might be happening, and then we'd go months without another word. Again, here's another emotional roller coaster. I want to make this clear, Bobby and I know, understand, and accept that adoption is not easy, but most times it's because you are waiting for a child and birthparents, and not your own adoption agency not capable to handling to workload they have accepted.

Now this leads me to what has been on my mind lately. While Bobby and I have been going through this there are two things that we continued to and still struggle with today.

1. I fully understand that children are God's blessing, but when people say things about their children begin God's greatest gift, as a woman and a man who desperately want that experience it is very hard to not take it personally. Does God deem that Bobby and I are not worthy of His greatest gift? For those of you who really know me, know that I have fully accepted the benefits of not being pregnant and putting my body through that torture glorious experience. I have enough medical issues that I am thankful God knows what He is doing. I also know His plan is better than ours and I trust it, but it's still something that hurts. How do I say this honestly - be sensitive with your words. You're family can be your greatest gift, but please don't put so much emphasis on the greatest gift being pregnancy or your child around someone who can't or won't experience it.

2. Every so often we are taken aback by a friend (mostly high school Facebook friends who we don't keep in good contact with) announce they are pregnant  . . . again. Let me make this clear, we are very excited for our friends who are pregnant, this is about our emotions!!!! Bobby and I can't help but think that they're working on their second or third child and here we are just praying for one. Really people all we pray for is A child. Which leads to the slightly irrational idea that maybe we are getting too old for a child. If most of our friends are finished having their multiple children and we are still praying for number one, wouldn't it be easier to get another dog, cat, and an Audi (I can dream)? Last month one of my best friends gave me the best advice as we were talking about this. If having a child is in your heart, you are never too old. It is in our heart, so we continue.

Well that leads us to December 18, 2013. We received an email with actual home study adoption paperwork to fill out (45 pages of it). Yes! It took one full year of us sending in our last document for them to start the next step. Then this week we received another packet of paperwork to complete, sign, send away, sell a kidney for, notarize, and who knows what else. While this is overwhelming, we can't help but think how ironic the number of people who carelessly have a child because they have the capabilities of this and not necessarily the heart for having a child. I am not going to lie-it is frustrating. Again, getting another dog, cat, and an Audi seems way more easier than the now 100 pages we have to complete (along with a snazzy scrapbook for the FBCH to show off to prospective birthparents).

So that's where our journey has taken us in 2013. It's not pretty, but it's a part of our story. Hopefully you have a better understanding as to what has and has not been happening and will continue to pray for God's hand to continue His work in this adoption process.

The Wait Continues

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

This verse seems to fit perfectly where we are right now in the adoption process. Unfortunately there really isn't any news to share. Several times over the summer we thought we were going start our home study, but nothing came to fruition. As we continue on with this process, we are reminded that even when we feel like something isn't going right, it is going right in God's plan. He knows exactly how this is supposed to go and who our son or daughter is. His timing is perfect, and I have to trust it. I can't make the process go any fast, so I might as well just accept that God has His reasons. The last word we had in August, was that we were next on the list to start our home study. There may be hope that we are licensed for adoption by the end of the year. When that happens, we'll let you know.

We also wanted to share with you one way that you can help us out. Watch our vlog (video blog) below and check it out.

HERE IS THE LINK (I didn't want you to miss it). 

We've also placed an icon on the right side of the blog too. 

Thank you so much for all of your love, prayers, and support through this process. It has been extremely long, but God must have one great plan for our family. We can't wait to share it with everyone!

taking heart

I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

This week I came across this verse right when both Bobby and I needed it. We both understand the adoption process is long and filled with many ups and downs. We were not really prepared for the down we received last week. Since October, we have been told to finish the adoption classes, and then they will have a time frame for when the home study will begin. Bobby and I have been waiting since December to find out. We had been planning and hoping it would start in the next few months. Well, we are totally wrong. Currently our agency is at capacity for families already licensed and waiting for children. Until several families are placed they are not beginning any home studies. At this point they can not even estimate when this will happen. We know the process hasn't been going fast but we were not ready for it to completely stop (at least that is what it feels like).

So we're trying to find some positives and come to peace with this.
1. They are working with several birth moms. The more birth moms are working with will potentially mean more families can be placed and then it will be our turn. Not every birth mom chooses to give their child up for adoption, some decide to parent in the end.

2. Bobby and I have been praying about the financial side of adoption. This is the one part that excites terrifies us. Next summer, we will finish paying off all of our debt except for the house and student loans. The financial fear of adopting and having a child will be significantly less after that. I guess God really was listening to our prayers about timing.

3. We have also decided  to begin the process of adopting an infant through DCF this summer. Adopting an infant through DCF is a very long process, but if we're currently waiting, we might as well have two possibilities going. What is the saying-don't put all your eggs in one basket?

The only other big update we have is that I found a great dresser/changing combo at the Celebration, FL Yard and Porch Sale the beginning of the month. It definitely needed some changes though.

BEFORE

AFTER

Yes, I completely redid it with the help and encouragement of a good friend. I even made the yellow changing pad cover to go with everything in the nursery. I am so proud of how it came out!

Needless to say, Bobby and I probably won't have many more updates until there is some progress, which could be quite a while. We have decided to hold off on any more baby preparations. Two weekends ago, we were debating on whether or not to purchase a stroller. I am so happy God was talking to Bobby that night and told him what we should do instead of the stroller. He really is with us through this journey! This morning our adoption agency had this image on their Facebook page. He continues to find ways to talk to Bobby and I through every step and reaffirm what we believe.

Today, we took this picture. The words in the sign, couldn't be anymore true. We will be parents. We just have no clue when at this time.

Again, I just ask that you pray for us as we continue this journey and for birth moms who are currently battling the emotions that come with the decision to parent versus giving their child up for adoption. There is no way I will ever understand what that feels like, but I do know that it takes a strong person to make that decision. 

Making Progress

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.   Romans 12:12

I know many people are wondering what has been happening with the adoption since say . . . October. It's been quite a while - oops! The fall seemed to get away from us. Bobby and I had every intention of beginning and finishing our adoption classes before Thanksgiving. There's no easy way to say it, but God had other plans for us this fall with the passing of my grandfather and the disappearance and death of a dear friend of ours from back home. While we were able to enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving with my whole family and see Bobby's family in November too, we were extremely thankful for December to begin. Our plans may have been derailed, but here's a run down of what we have accomplished.

• In early November we managed to paint all of the bedrooms upstairs and begin the preparations of turning the den into a nursery. 
• We finished all 3 of our adoption classes about a week before Christmas.
• Our adoption profile book is started. We have a few pages done, but have lots more to do. We have found it slightly overwhelming to introduce yourself through a limited number of photos and words in hopes that someone will choose you as their child's parents. 
• And . . . we bought a crib, mattress, and bedding last month!

Earlier this summer, I came across very similar bedding that I fell in love with but was way out of our price range. I have been searching for something gray, white, with hints of yellow accents. I wanted a chevron pattern as well. I was to the point where I was going to make the bedding so I could have exactly what I wanted. Low and behold, I happened to be shopping for a friend's shower and saw exactly what I wanted, at a price I could afford! Hot-diggity-dog! Then this week an amazing friend made the gray and yellow matching quilt and throw pillow for the nursery (I know the pillow will not stay in the crib. Most likely it will live in the rocking chair up there). She did an amazing job!

We are still waiting to begin our home study. We are unsure of when that will take place, which means we have no clue how long our journey to parenthood will be. Bobby and I often discuss when we hope everything will fall into place, but really we have to trust God. His timing is perfect! It always has been and always will be. I continually remind myself of this as our ideal time most likely will not be His ideal time.

Right now our emotions are very mixed. We are excited, scared, nervous, hopeful . . . did I say scared? It has always been a dream, and now our dream is beginning to become a reality.  Farny is even excited and learning where his spot is in the nursery. Man I love that dog!

Again, we ask you to continue to pray as God leads not only us in this journey but the life of the birth mother as well. She will need His guidance as she begins to plan for her pregnancy, birth, and the life of her child. 

We are moving on . . .

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." 1 Chronicles 28:20

We got our email today about the next steps to take! SCARY!! Bobby called me on his way home and mentioned that we got an email, I told him that I saw it, and we both made a comment about how scary exciting it is to take this step (truthfully each step). This step is the step we have been waiting on since May once we knew the FBCH had accepted our application. For the last five months we've been able to sort of live in this fantasy world where we knew there would be a baby someday. Because of how slow things were moving, it didn't seem like it would be anytime soon. Our fantasy world sort of deflated a bit more to the reality of wow this is really happening.

So, the next step is to begin the online version of the MAPP classes next month. Apparently, it's 3 different courses totaling about 6 hours in work. We don't know how long it will actually take for us to complete this step either. It may take one weekend or one month. Once we have the courses completed, we send in our certificate and they will be more able to give us a specific time line. HOLY COW!!! A POTENTIAL TIMELINE-DATE!!! Our fantasy world just became a little more real. So the verse at the beginning is to remind us that as terrified scared worried shocked happy as we are to be taking the next steps, this is still God's work and plan for us. He will not fail us even if we are fearful.

Now, you are probably wondering "What have those Fernbaughs been doing the last five months?" Well, we had to halt a bit on the nursery. I ended up transferring schools this year. So years of teaching resources were moved back to the house, and there just happened to be one completely empty room. How convenient? Now that all of my stuff has either been moved to my new school (I'm teach kindergarten), stored away, sold, or thrown out, we have actually begun painting and cleaning up the bedrooms upstairs. Hopefully by January/February we will have the nursery painted and possibly a crib in place.

Thank you to everyone that has continued to pray for us this year.

The Latest . . .

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I know it's been a while, but we haven't had anything new to share. Today, we really don't have much to share, but I thought it was about time to update everyone.

First, the process is slow. We were under the impression that we might be able to start the MAPP classes this summer, but that doesn't look so right now. The estimate is that once you start MAPP classes the average wait time until placement is the length of a pregnancy (give or take a few months). With those first thoughts, that had us thinking placement would be anytime from next May-July. Right now, we don't plan on this happening. Bobby and I have a feeling it will closer to fall of 2013, and we're are completely content with that. Truthfully, we'd be content if it were spring to 2014. Only God knows when our perfect time will be!

Here are some of the things I do know. Currently, there are seven families licensed and waiting for placement. For some reason we had this notion that it was like twenty to thirty families - seven is nothing! There are also families working on their license right now and farther along in the process. So at most, there maybe fifteen families "ahead of us".

The other concerning factor is there have not been any birth moms until recently. Last week apparently, a birth mom came in, went through all the documentation, gave birth, and placement happened all within a week! WOWZERS!! That's fast! My one request is to please say a prayer for any birth mom right now who is struggling with determining what the best decision is for her and her child. It has to be the most difficult decision to make in the world. I am thankful there are strong selfless mothers out there who do choose adoption.

The next MAPP class will start in the fall. Most likely we would be invited to that one. Currently, the FCBH is working on creating an online MAPP course for adoptive families. We're not sure the route that we will be taking these courses, but it will happen.

Other than that, there has been absolutely no headway on the nursery. None! This fall it will be painted, and a crib will be bought. From there we don't know what else to do. We are working on creating a baby registry as well, so our friends and family can help prepare for our little bundle of joy. If she comes as quickly as the baby last week, or a few of other friends we know, we need to be prepared way ahead of time!

That's it for now! Blessings from Florida!!!

Advisers . . .

Plans fail for lack on counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

Previous to Thursday, Bobby and I talked a bit about making the den a nursery, what we wanted to do, and worked really hard on cleaning it out. Through everything we I have decided that we need to figure out what bedding to purchase before we paint or decide between a white or dark brown crib (that's another debate). This leads to me to today's post.

Sprout Crib Bedding Collection

This is the bedding I absolutely love! However, with a hefty price tag this is not going to happen unless someone wants to purchase this for us . . . anyone . . . anyone . . . Bueller . . .

So the search has continued. It is slightly difficult because whatever bedding we chose needs to work with a boy or a girl, and I am dead set against having any form of animals in my child's bedding - no owls (everyone gasp now), zoos, elephants, arks, Winnie the Poohs, or Mice. So that cuts about 75% of everything out. This had led us to the following three cheap budget friendly affordable options.

1. Sumersault Pop Dot Baby Bedding

2.   Sumersault Geo Brights 10 Piece Crib Set - Multicolor

3. Okie Dokie® Animal Circles Bedding - and yes this one does have animals, but I don't think they are really obvious, and I like that the sheet, skirt, and bumper (which I know won't stay in) are all a different material.

So . . . which one do you like? Is there something that we might not be considering that will annoy us or is missing that we need to consider? Should we start the search all over? Are these options just hideous, and we need to go with the Sprout Collection? Honestly, which one do you like the most? 

An Answer

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3 I had this nice long blog update typed this morning. I saved it so I could show Bobby before publishing it, and wouldn't you know it . . . it's gone. Missing. Disapprearred. MIA. This morning I was much more philosophical, so now I can guarantee that what I type will not be any better than what I originally had but here it goes. On Thursday Bobby and I recieved a letter from the FCBH informing us that they had accepted our application! Everything we had been waiting for and starting to prepare for over the last two months was answered. We don't have any additional information. Bobby and I have held on to this for the last few days. We wanted to tell a few people before we announced it to the world. Our neighbor, who is currently adopting her second daughter through them informed us earlier in the week that the next MAPP class should begin in August. That is the next major hurdle that we have to do through the agency. From there, the average wait is that of a pregnancy. All of this is subject to change, but if it goes the way our neighbor Martye explained we could have a baby in our arms the beginning of summer next year! Slightly frightening! Do they know we have no clue about little ones? Does everyone realize we will be asking you a bazillion questions? We ask that you continue to pray for our child, his or her birthmother, and a healthy pregnancy. So many things could happen in the beginning and hopefully the birthmother will be aware and take care of herself and the baby. God continues to show us how great He is! Many blessings to everyone!!!

House Preparations

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

We know it has been forever since our last update. There hasn't been much news to share. Three weeks ago the adoption coordinator emailed us with some financial questions. We answered them. The next week she came back and wanted to know about our relationship with God and how we came to our relationship. And finally, our check for the application fee was deposited this week. Other than that, we know nothing.

In the last few weeks we have spent many hours sorting, rearranging, selling a few items on Craigslist, piling up a bunch of things to sell at next week's community yard sale, and trying not to stress about the random piles around the house. It started with moving the computer and office stuff to the dinning room. We had many grand ideas. Ultimately, it ended up being something very simple but perfect for the space.

 

The next big task we took on was the living room. Again, we had many grand plans, but thanks to some Pinterest inspired ideas we built a faux built-in bookcase. We have spent that last two days working on it. This evening, everything has been placed on the shelves. In the near future I may be hosting an intervention for Bobby and his movie collection. He just has too many!!!

I wish I had some before photos to share, but couldn't find any to show just how dramatic these changes our.

All of this means that after the yard sale next weekend, the office upstairs will be completely empty (well except for us demolishing the desk - anyone want to come help?) and ready to be painted and turned into a nursery.

Application Sent

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

On Tuesday we mailed our official application along with every piece of possible documentation they asked for including a photo. Now we wait to hear if the Florida Baptist Children's Home is willing to partner with us. I'm sure this is not going to be the last time we are stuck waiting for answers or time. We have absolutely no clue how long it will take them to review the application and make a decision. Hopefully we'll know something in the next six weeks. I wish there was something more exciting to share then we're waiting . . .

In the mean time we have had many discussions about what we can do now to prepare. Once we are matched with a birth mother, it could be anywhere from 1-3 months before said baby arrives. We don't want to wait until then to start taking care of things we can do now. Plus, it would drive me insane trying to keep my brain organized for what we need to do, which would then drive Bobby insane as well. So, we have decided to start converting the den into a nursery. This means installing a new custom built desk in the small dinning room alcove. We also plan on figuring out some kind of built in bookcase system for the living room. If you know Bobby he is insane crazy particular about his DVDs being in alphabetical order and has a massive collection. We could probably open up a movie rental business for our friends. With as much media and books as we have, we need to come up with some great solution that helps cut down on the number of large ugly bookcases upstairs. Once that is done, we plan on purchasing a crib and start preparing for said baby. It just seems odd to think about preparing for a child when we have no clue when that will happen. How would you explain that to a store clerk? "Yes, I'm buying a crib because we are adopting, but we don't know when it will fall into place." How creepy! Maybe it won't be quite as weird once the application is accepted and we begin the 30 hours of MAPP classes or the home study. Until then it kind of feels like we're playing the grown-up version on house.

Even through all the creepy feelings and the stress of redoing four of the six non-bathroom rooms in our house, we continue to believe that God is good. He will provide us strength when we aren't sure about what to do next or how to feel about something. This is His calling, and He will make sure that everything happens the way it is meant.

Over/Under . . .

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

The most important part of today's post is to let you know who won the over/under bet on how long last night's meeting would last. Bobby had under an hour and a half, and I had over an hour and a half. The winner got to choose where we went for dinner . . . Stay tuned - results will be announced at the end of today's post.

Last night's meeting was good. I can't really say that we learned anything new or had a great AHA moment, but it was really nice to have the first real face-to-face meeting with someone from Florida's Children's Baptist Home. Here's what we did come away with.

Currently the FCBH is not starting any more families through the process until the families currently there are matched up. What that means for us is yes we can still apply and beg and plead pray and hope they are willing to work with us. From there we may be able to take the 10 week MAPP classes required by the state this spring. If not that would be in the summer. We would not be able to start a home study or move beyond that for at least 6 months. From there the process would continue with them showing our profile book to prospective birth moms, being selected, a bunch of legal stuff, an infant "placed" in our home, and then the adoption being finalized anywhere from 6 months to 1 year later. This time line turned out to be even longer than the slow track we thought we were on. However, we're very okay with that. We're just going to trust in the process and take it SL . . . OW . . L . . . . . Y.  It sounds kind of odd to hear them say they are not starting anymore families through the process, but the more I thought about it I'm okay. This means that when they are ready for us (bless their hearts), their case loads won't be quite as busy as if they were trying to work with their current families and continue to add more. Plus, it's not like I can skip to the front of the line before all of the other families who are already waiting anyways.

Also, we walked away with a clear answer. We had been weighing the pros and cons of whether to do a private adoption or through the Foster Care System. Last night we both walked away confident that we wanted to pursue private infant adoption. Farewell, free college tuition to an instate school. Anyone have some pennies they want to share with us so we can start our unborn child's college fund now?

While we are waiting the next long while, we do get to start one fun project for us which is our profile book. This is the book the FCBH will share with birth mothers when they choose a family. There are several options, but we have chosen to create a scrapbook. With my scrapbooking creativity and Bobby's photos, it will be fun to work on it. We may be asking our family and friends for snippets and such for our book so be aware. Bobby is determined for ours to be the absolute best they have ever seen and to have a birth mother choose us. That truly is an amazing thing for someone to say they will choose us to raise their child. If anyone has suggestions about things we need to add to our book please share. Overall, we definitely felt God leading us to the first of many answers, and we are excited to be "walk(ing) in it"

And what you've all been waiting for THE WINNER IS . . . Bobby - Our whole meeting lasted a measly hour. Really? Information that will change our life in an hour? Anyway, dinner was at Buca Di Beppo's. It's been years since we ate their, but we enjoyed an early Valentine's dinner, and will be having leftovers tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

The Week Flew By

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD - Psalms 27:14

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read our first post, say a word of congratulations or encouragement, and even say a prayer. We feel blessed to have so many people support our decision.

After several messages and phone calls we received a hefty well-informed email and an attachment filled with plenty of information. It was overwhelming and scary wonderful to read everything, but then I started worrying. Finally, Bobby told me that I can worry about stuff when we reach that part of the journey but that we weren't there yet. So here are the three things we know at this point

1) We have a lengthy nice application we need to fill out and submit to the Florida Children's Baptist Home. They have a committee who will review it before the FCBH will even agree to partner with us. I mean truthfully, they could look at our application, say no, and then we're back at square one. Bobby isn't too worried about this happening, but they could still say no, and I feel that I need to plan for all possibilities even this . . .

2) On February 13th we have an orientation meeting to go to in Orlando. After that we should have a lot more information to share and most likely a lot more questions as well. We could have gone to the orientation meeting in Lakeland, but it is not scheduled until the end of March. We don't want to be on the fast track to adoption, but we also know it is too easy to put it off and continue to find a reason to put it off. This is a priority, and we have to attend the orientation before we can submit our application. Why wait any longer?

3) The Florida Children's Baptist Home provides several different types of adoption. There are two major types. First, they match birth mothers with adoptive families and help facilitate private adoptions. They also partner with DCF and facilitate adoptions through that system as well. We were leaning one way, and then after talking about it, we are starting to lean the other way. Both types of adoptions have a number of pros and cons. At this point, we are hoping to get more information on the 13th to help make this decision and be able to sit down face to face with someone from FCBH to make this decision more clear.

Until then, we continue to wait and pray.

It Begins . . .

Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: "Go to the great city of Ninevah and proclaim to it the message I give you" Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Ninevah - Jonah 3:1-3

The journey that Bobby and I are about to begin is our modern-day version of Jonah. For those of you who may not know the whole story of Jonah, God asked him to go to Ninevah to proclaim His message. Instead of doing what was asked of him, Jonah ran in the opposite direction, paid money to get on a ship set to sail across the Mediterranean to what is now present day Spain. The Lord sent a great storm, and the sailors set out to find out who caused the storm. When the sailors realized Jonah was running away from the Lord, they threw him off the boat where he was swallowed by the whale. Ultimately, the whale vomited Jonah on dry land, God again told Jonah to arise and go to Ninevah, Jonah complied, and the city of Ninevah turned from evil and saw the greatest revival of a city in history. The best part of this story is that God held steadfast to His plan for Jonah and continued to tell him until Jonah got the message.

So Bobby and I are not Jonah, and we have not been swallowed by a whale. If you consider a whitewater rafting trip accident as a violent storm, then we're good on that, but we have been trying to hide from God's plan for us. The topic of adoption has been brought up several times the last five years. Each time we'd discuss it for a while, but decide to set the idea aside ultimately trying to ignore it. Eventually the topic continued to come back again and again. Bobby and I heard the word of the Lord, but chose to ignore it just as Jonah. We weren't running away from a city though, we were running away from adoption. The great thing about God is that He does have a plan for our life, and He continued to tell us what that plan was over and over and over again. He did not give up on us or change His plan even when we tried to intervene and take over. He was steadfast that we were to adopt.

This decision is not something that we took lightly. Like I said, the topic of adoption has been rolling around for years. Today we took the first steps by contacting one of the local adoption agencies. The woman who we need to talk to was away from her desk so we left a message (isn't this typical on something so important and life changing). By no means are we experts on adoption, and truthfully I know there is so much more information that we probably need to have. We are excited, scared, nervous, and truly have no clue, but we know that God is calling us for this task. I don't think we are people that can look out and see the whole process. Instead we see things as very small steps. We will continue to pray and hope you will as well for us as we find strength in each step and the waiting, for the birth mother who will be giving a child the most selfless gift through adoption, and for God to continue showing His presence. With this first step, we are obeying the word of the Lord.